Voidtrecker In Person Inbox

[sizedoesntmatter]

For those who want to do something on the train, but don't want to do a log or post.

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[blue_ice]

Yugi should've known he didn't need to apologize, but this was a painful grief that he couldn't quite relate to. His own parents had died what felt like a lifetime ago, and all those feelings had been burnt up by the anger and hate that followed. Yugi would surely never take that path, but...

He struggled for words as he dimmed the lights. Seto knew he was unlikely to see Mokuba again (and even unlikelier to ever have a good relationship with him again after disappearing the way he did), but that grief was nothing like this

He set a mug of tea on the bedside table closest to Yugi, then shifted around the other side to join him on the bed, offering himself as a pillow.

"You deserved more time."

[sizedoesntmatter]

Yugi shook his head slightly. He didn't feel like he deserved more time, mostly because what could he have honestly done if they had? n his mind he did all he could have honestly done in that time. Not much more he could have done.

"Not much more I could do really. Besides we didn't have a choice in having more time things were messed up."

[blue_ice]

"I'm sorry." Seto pulls him close and just sits with him for a little while, quiet and thoughtful. There's not a lot he can say...especially for someone who deals with death as poorly as he does. But he's trying to be better about it.

"He was a good man. He gave you so much."

He lapsed into silence as he thought a little longer. What should he say? His thoughts were many...what was appropriate to bring up? Would his ideas bring comfort or more distress?

"You made him proud."

[sizedoesntmatter]

Yugi just looked at the floor. They were nice words and a part of him had rally wanted to hear that. Resting his head on his shoulder he stayed quiet for what seemed like forever. He didn't know what to say or do really.

At least for five minutes before he moved to take his hand, gripping it slightly.

"Thanks. Doesn't stop me missing him, but that's perfectly normal when it comes to grief." Not his first rodeo after all.

[blue_ice]

"Of course it doesn't," is Seto's soft answer. He holds tight to Yugi's hand, willing to wait here as long as Yugi wants him to.

In the silence, he thinks a lot about Yugi. How strange it's felt since his return...and now he finally knows why. And he comes to a realization:

"...D---Siebren told me once that it's okay to not be okay. I think that can help you too. Sometimes we just get holes in ourselves and there is no upside, and you don't have to keep smiling and pushing it in. I think we've relied on you too much to be the optimist. And I'm sorry."

[sizedoesntmatter]

"You didn't rely on me to be as such. That was something I choose to do." Did it mean he pushed feelings down when around others, yes very much so. But he knew when alone that was a different matter.

Sure it probably was a good idea for him to actually speak to people about grief as it can be bad keeping it to himself. But to Yugi he knew he could at least handle it in a decent way.

[blue_ice]

"I love you," Seto breathes, because he doesn't say it enough. And he's overwhelmed with the feeling.

"Anything I can do for you...I swear I will. But. This is going to sound ridiculous coming from me, Yugi..."

Deep breath as he pulls Yugi close. He's not sure if it's the right thing to say, but it's the only thing he knows. "There's another dimension after death. It's real, it's not bad...and if anyone could tell him what happened to you, someone there can."

[sizedoesntmatter]

"I love you too." He smiled as he said it, he could see and understand what he was trying to do as well and appreciated it too as he leaned on him gently.

"That's not at all ridiculous to me but..." He trailed off a bit, trying to think of the right words that he needed to say. After all he knew with grief it was handled differently depending on the person and Yugi knew that how he and Seto did it was vastly different.

"...I'm fine not knowing really. I'll reach acceptance eventually, I will just do it in my own way." Though at what point he was on he didn't actually know.

[blue_ice]

"Okay," Seto whispered, falling silent as he held on a while longer. As much as he wanted to say more...he knew Yugi needed to do things for himself. Nothing could erase the pain he felt.

"I'll just be here. Promise."

[sizedoesntmatter]

He just nodded for a moment. He knew that there were friends there for him and really grief hadn't been something he had talks about much even when Atem had left until about six months later when he explained that he still missed him in that time.

For Yugi it was perhaps because it was just hard to want to talk about or hard to explain things. Or just the subject was pretty hard to just talk about in general.

"I know you will be. But for now, I just will remember the good times."